I: What should I be doing on a date?
Andrew is sitting at the table picking at his lunch.
Sakal comes and sits across from him.
Sakal: How did the
date go?
Andrew: [Looks up, startled] The date? Oh, that, yes,
well, sort of. I mean, we had a good time, went out to a movie and then dinner.
But you sort of ruined it for me.
Sakal: I did?
Andrew: Yes. Our
conversation kept running through my head:[i]
‘loving God’, ‘loving my neighbor’…
Sakal: Oh? So you
were wondering if you should have gone out?
Andrew: No, no but
I wasn’t sure what I should be doing
on the date!
Sakal: You mean,
going to a movie and dinner or doing something else?
Andrew: No, I mean…
why was I dating? What was I supposed
to be accomplishing on the date? We agreed, last time, that my goal was to love
God and love my neighbor. Well, I thought about it a bunch more, and I
remembered that part of loving God is glorifying God.
Sakal: For ye are
bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit,
which are God's.[ii]
Andrew: Yes,
exactly.
So I had to ask myself, am I doing that? How do I do that? How am I
supposed to do that on a date? I’m not sure I did so well on my date.
I took her to see the movie Titanic, you know, a romantic movie. Figured it was appropriate for a date. Not my favorite, but girls love it, no? But then I was all embarrassed at the one scene[iii]… well, a couple of scenes, several scenes, really. I’ve seen that movie a couple of times before and always enjoyed it. It is only rated PG, but this time, with my mind full of ‘glorifying God’, it looked very different.
My date didn’t seem to object to any of it, and she thanked me for taking her. But the whole time I was watching the movie, and watching my date, I wondered how well I was doing at the whole ‘glorifying God’ thing? How am I supposed to do that on my dates?
I took her to see the movie Titanic, you know, a romantic movie. Figured it was appropriate for a date. Not my favorite, but girls love it, no? But then I was all embarrassed at the one scene[iii]… well, a couple of scenes, several scenes, really. I’ve seen that movie a couple of times before and always enjoyed it. It is only rated PG, but this time, with my mind full of ‘glorifying God’, it looked very different.
My date didn’t seem to object to any of it, and she thanked me for taking her. But the whole time I was watching the movie, and watching my date, I wondered how well I was doing at the whole ‘glorifying God’ thing? How am I supposed to do that on my dates?
Sakal: You know you
are supposed to glorify God while dating, but you don’t know how that is to be
accomplished on a date, or by dating?
Andrew: Yes,
exactly! It isn’t enough to know I am supposed to glorify God with my life if I
can’t figure out how to do so with this activity. I’m supposed to glorify God
with all of my life right, not just
parts of it?[iv]
Sakal: An excellent
principle. So what do the Scriptures say about dating? Perhaps you should study
that.
Andrew: They don’t
say anything about dating! How could
they? They didn’t ‘date’ back then. They just, I don’t know what they did, but they didn’t date. But
we date nowadays, so I have to figure out how to do it right.
Sakal: But…
Andrew: Look, it’s
what you said the other day… your rule. I had to try to do what my goal was,
because I am human… so, what should be my goal for this activity? What about
what I was created to do can I do on my dates?
Sakal: Well,
let me ask you this; is dating a means to an end, or an end in itself? The
other day you said you wanted the date itself to be ‘fun’, and to be ‘right’,
which sounds like you want to date for the sake of dating. Is that true, or is
a date a means to some other end?
Andrew: Well of
course. You don’t date just to date… I
don’t anyway. But even if I am dating for an eventual purpose, I still need to
glorify God while I am actually on a date, no?
Sakal: Quite right,
you need to do both: glorify God during
the date, and by the purpose of the
date. But let us examine that eventual purpose.
Why do you date? What end does it serve?
Andrew: To get
married, of course. I want to get married, eventually, and everyone knows you
can’t get married without dating…
Sakal: Do they? I
don’t seem to know that. I thought you said the people back when the Scriptures
were written didn’t date. Did they not get married?
Andrew: Oh, them. I
mean nowadays. You can’t get married nowadays
without dating.
Sakal: But… well,
perhaps another day. So you wish to date, in order to get married. And you wish
to get married… why?
Andrew: Well, there
are lots of reasons… companionship, kids…
Sakal: And are
those the only reasons?
Andrew: [Blushing] Well,
and, you know…
Sakal: The physical
aspect?
Andrew: [Nods]
Sakal: You are
looking forward to that part?
Andrew: [Blushing even brighter, and
looking around in hopes no one is overhearing this, nods again.]
Sakal: One wonders
what this world is coming to that a young man is embarrassed to admit he wants
to get married because he wants to sleep with his wife. Everyone knows it, but
no one is willing to say it. So companionship, children, rejoicing in each
other physically … is that it?
Andrew: And to
glorify God! I mean, all of that is supposed to glorify God. There are two ways
I could glorify God with my life right now. I could stay unmarried, or I could
get married. I could seek a wife, or I could ignore girls.
Sakal: Oh?
Andrew: Yes. Except
I can’t ignore girls.[v]
I don’t think I have it in me. So I think I should get married and have a wife,
if you see what I mean.
Sakal: I do indeed.
Once you get married, will it then glorify God for you to sleep with each
other? As opposed to what Jessie wanted you to do?
Andrew: Well, yes.
I mean, that is what the Scriptures say, several of them.[vi]
It seems wild to me, but I’m perfectly willing to trust God on that![vii]
Sakal: So you want
to date in order to get married, and you want to get married in order to have
sex, and you want to have sex because it will glorify God?
Andrew: Yes, I
mean… no, I mean…[He lowers his voice] I
want to have sex; God made me to want to have sex, and he says that sex in
marriage does glorify Him. And a lot
of other things in marriage, too.[viii]
All of marriage is supposed to
glorify God: having kids,[ix]
raising a family in the Lord[x],
all those things.
Sakal: So, marriage
is a good thing… or at least the results
of marriage. Do you see marriage by itself as being a good thing?
Andrew: Yes, oh,
yes. As a matter of fact our pastor preached on that the other day. In
Ephesians five we learned that our marriages are supposed to be a reflection of
the marriage of Christ and the church. That because Christ is one with His
Church, we should become one with our wife[xi].
Pastor said our human marriages, not just the marriage of Christ but our
earthly, human, marriages, are a witness to the gospel. That by getting
married, staying married, and having a Godly marriage where we love each other
and all that, we can show people what being a Christian is supposed to be all
about, at least part of it.
Sakal: Ok, so there
are a lot of reasons to want to get married.
Andrew: Yes… and it
tells me who I ought to be dating! I never thought this out before, not really,
not like this.
Sakal: Oh?
Andrew: Yes! If I
am supposed to be dating in order to get married, then I should be dating a
girl I would be actually willing to marry, not just any Christian girl. And, of
all the girls in my ‘black book’, the only one I can really see myself marrying
is my friend Maydyn, Maydyn Terrefille. What an idiot I’ve been! [He picks up his phone and
starts dialing as he walks off…]
Sakal: But…? [Sighs and walks away.]
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