Definitions
Terms specifically advanced:
Betrothal: Betrothal is any oath, statement [1], or action which binds a man and woman into a permanent covenant relationship, dissolvable only by divorce or death, implying eventual physical union. When betrothed the couple refer to each other as husband and wife. Physical union ends the betrothal and begins the marriage proper. (We are using the word synonymously with 'espousal'; the difference merely the translation from the Hebrew vs the Greek.) A betrothal needs the father of the bride or his representative to be valid.
Covenant Community: We are using this term to mean a group of people, particularly heads of households united in the faith, who have bound themselves together by an agreeing oath to behave in certain ways, in this case to act as our covenant requires.
Marriage: Marriage is, at a minimum, a permanent commitment to physical union between a man and a woman with a goal for raising obedient children.
Marriage as modeled by our relationship with Christ is much more than this. It includes not only the physical union (which models our spiritual union with Christ) but also a spiritual union where the husband continually washes his wife and household in the water of the Word, a social union where the family acts together for the wellbeing of the family, and even a generational union where each generation passes physical and spiritual wealth from generation to generation.
Obey: To immediately and cheerfully carry out the expressed and unexpressed wishes of those in authority over you in the area of their authority.
Pattern: An original or model proposed for imitation; the archetype; an exemplar; that which is to be copied or imitated, either in things or in actions; as the pattern of a machine; a pattern of patience. ex: Christ was the most perfect pattern of rectitude,patience and submission ever exhibited on earth. (Websters 1828 Dictionary)
Precept: In a general sense, any commandment or order intended as an authoritative rule of action; but applied particularly to commands respecting moral conduct. ex: The ten commandments are so many precepts for the regulation of our moral conduct. (Websters 1828 Dictionary)
Submit: To voluntarily and cheerfully place yourself within the hierarchy God has ordained for you.
Other Terms:
Arranged Marriage: A process that may involve a form of betrothal. We would make the distinction between the historical form of 'arranged marriage'; which involves a distinct goal of benefiting the parents (via a political match, questions of money, etc.) and what we are naming 'The Covenant of Betrothal' in this paper; which has as its goal to glorify God, continue the goals of the family, and benefit the couple concerned.
Courtship: A much more structured form of dating, this term that has been latched onto by many in the Christian Home-School movement to define an alternative method of pairing their young men and women with the prayer that it leads to a Godly marriage. The editors of this document eschew this term as; A) unscriptural, B) in spite of the changes ends up being really a form of dating that, while moving in a more Biblical direction (including, for example, much more parental involvement, and usually prohibiting most sexual contact before marriage, often by means of chaperoning), nonetheless preserves some of its essential features in contrast to their Biblical alternatives.
Typically courtship involves the young man approaching the young woman's father for permission to 'court'. If approved, the young people then engage in a series of activities to see if this relationship is 'the right one'. If all concerned agree the relationship is 'right' then the couple proceeds to marriage.
Dating: A form of arranging a marriage in which the children themselves take the lead role, and in which the parents may play little if any part. Usually the parents are denied even a veto over the proposed marriage. It usually involves multiple 'trial relationships' which may or may not include full physical union prior to 'marriage'.
Engagement: An agreement to be married; in modern cultures an engagement can be broken at any time by either party: one of the key differences between it and betrothal. During the engagement the couple refer to each other as 'fiance' and 'fiancee'. Usually the engagement is formed solely by the couple themselves.
Rights: The term rights has two differing definitions; what might be called *negative* rights, and *positive* rights. Negative rights, as in 'you may not do this to these people' have some justification in Scripture. Positive rights are like 'right to health care' and actually put a burden on someone else; these have little if any justification.
Single: A word used in todays culture to refer to a wide variety of people; including widows, virgins, fornicators, etc. In distinction with 'virgins' or 'unmarried' it leaves out their actual state, and adds a connotation of 'without family'... which connotation stands in opposition to Biblical standards. There are no singles. There are the virgins living under their fathers authority (or his replacement), there are widows, etc.... but there are no 'singles'.
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Note: While we would disagree with some aspects, Jonathon Lindvall's chart about dating, courtship, and betrothal is a useful resource for some of these terms. Similarly, Israel Wayne has a good list of definitions.
[1] cf. Gen 24:50, Gen 29:18,19, II Sam 3:14, Matt 1:18, II Cor 11:2
References: http://dictionary.christianpost.com/definition/betroth.htm
Betrothal: Betrothal is any oath, statement [1], or action which binds a man and woman into a permanent covenant relationship, dissolvable only by divorce or death, implying eventual physical union. When betrothed the couple refer to each other as husband and wife. Physical union ends the betrothal and begins the marriage proper. (We are using the word synonymously with 'espousal'; the difference merely the translation from the Hebrew vs the Greek.) A betrothal needs the father of the bride or his representative to be valid.
Covenant Community: We are using this term to mean a group of people, particularly heads of households united in the faith, who have bound themselves together by an agreeing oath to behave in certain ways, in this case to act as our covenant requires.
Marriage: Marriage is, at a minimum, a permanent commitment to physical union between a man and a woman with a goal for raising obedient children.
Marriage as modeled by our relationship with Christ is much more than this. It includes not only the physical union (which models our spiritual union with Christ) but also a spiritual union where the husband continually washes his wife and household in the water of the Word, a social union where the family acts together for the wellbeing of the family, and even a generational union where each generation passes physical and spiritual wealth from generation to generation.
Obey: To immediately and cheerfully carry out the expressed and unexpressed wishes of those in authority over you in the area of their authority.
Pattern: An original or model proposed for imitation; the archetype; an exemplar; that which is to be copied or imitated, either in things or in actions; as the pattern of a machine; a pattern of patience. ex: Christ was the most perfect pattern of rectitude,patience and submission ever exhibited on earth. (Websters 1828 Dictionary)
Precept: In a general sense, any commandment or order intended as an authoritative rule of action; but applied particularly to commands respecting moral conduct. ex: The ten commandments are so many precepts for the regulation of our moral conduct. (Websters 1828 Dictionary)
Submit: To voluntarily and cheerfully place yourself within the hierarchy God has ordained for you.
Other Terms:
Arranged Marriage: A process that may involve a form of betrothal. We would make the distinction between the historical form of 'arranged marriage'; which involves a distinct goal of benefiting the parents (via a political match, questions of money, etc.) and what we are naming 'The Covenant of Betrothal' in this paper; which has as its goal to glorify God, continue the goals of the family, and benefit the couple concerned.
Courtship: A much more structured form of dating, this term that has been latched onto by many in the Christian Home-School movement to define an alternative method of pairing their young men and women with the prayer that it leads to a Godly marriage. The editors of this document eschew this term as; A) unscriptural, B) in spite of the changes ends up being really a form of dating that, while moving in a more Biblical direction (including, for example, much more parental involvement, and usually prohibiting most sexual contact before marriage, often by means of chaperoning), nonetheless preserves some of its essential features in contrast to their Biblical alternatives.
Typically courtship involves the young man approaching the young woman's father for permission to 'court'. If approved, the young people then engage in a series of activities to see if this relationship is 'the right one'. If all concerned agree the relationship is 'right' then the couple proceeds to marriage.
Dating: A form of arranging a marriage in which the children themselves take the lead role, and in which the parents may play little if any part. Usually the parents are denied even a veto over the proposed marriage. It usually involves multiple 'trial relationships' which may or may not include full physical union prior to 'marriage'.
Engagement: An agreement to be married; in modern cultures an engagement can be broken at any time by either party: one of the key differences between it and betrothal. During the engagement the couple refer to each other as 'fiance' and 'fiancee'. Usually the engagement is formed solely by the couple themselves.
Rights: The term rights has two differing definitions; what might be called *negative* rights, and *positive* rights. Negative rights, as in 'you may not do this to these people' have some justification in Scripture. Positive rights are like 'right to health care' and actually put a burden on someone else; these have little if any justification.
Single: A word used in todays culture to refer to a wide variety of people; including widows, virgins, fornicators, etc. In distinction with 'virgins' or 'unmarried' it leaves out their actual state, and adds a connotation of 'without family'... which connotation stands in opposition to Biblical standards. There are no singles. There are the virgins living under their fathers authority (or his replacement), there are widows, etc.... but there are no 'singles'.
=============================================================
Note: While we would disagree with some aspects, Jonathon Lindvall's chart about dating, courtship, and betrothal is a useful resource for some of these terms. Similarly, Israel Wayne has a good list of definitions.
[1] cf. Gen 24:50, Gen 29:18,19, II Sam 3:14, Matt 1:18, II Cor 11:2
References: http://dictionary.christianpost.com/definition/betroth.htm
2 comments:
Your definition of arranged marriage is a bit flawed.
An arranged marriage between two Christians, can indeed, and should have "as its goal to glorify God, continue the goals of the family, and benefit the couple concerned."
You don't seem to take that into account.
Also, you mention that "in modern cultures an engagement can be broken at any time by either party: [...] Usually the engagement is formed solely by the couple themselves." However, just because this is what is common in modern times, this does not mean that this is how Christians can (and should) approach engagement. Engagement among Christians should be (and often is) a binding commitment with the expectation of marriage, with a date for marriage soon set. Also, parents of a Christian couple should (and often are) very involved in the engagement process - with permission from both sets of parents sought by the prospective husband.
Your definitions are too precise and thus, cannot be true in all circumstances.
I think you mistake the purpose of this document. It is to give the definition we will be using.
If a couple who get 'engaged', consider that as a binding agreement broken only by divorce, then we would refer to that as a 'betrothal'.
If two fathers arrange a marriage between their children, and they do it in such a way as to 'glorify God etc.'... then on this site we would call that a betrothal.
Now your statement 'parents of a Christian couple should (and often are) very involved in the engagement process - with permission from both sets of parents sought by the prospective husband.' would be very interesting... if you supported it from Scripture.
The Scriptural pattern is for the fathers to *arrange*, not to merely 'be involved' the marriage.
You might be interested in the site from which these definitions come, christianbetrothal.wetpaint.com.
I would welcome your arguments in favor of 'involvement'.
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