The Case for Biblical Obedience
In spite of what Mr. Pearl says in his article scripture commands children to be obedient regardless of their age.
I. Intro
II. Mr. Pearl makes a case against children obeying their parents
In his article Patriarchal Dysfunctional Families, Part 2 (October 2008) Mr. Pearl makes a case against children obeying their parents. He first presents letters which illustrate why children should not obey their parents. He then continues by distinguishing honor from obedience, and showing why obedience is required only up to the age of 20, while honor is required throughout life.
III.
A. Mr. Pearl presents letters which illustrate why children should not obey their parents
In the first part of his article Mr. Pearl presents letters which he received in response to his last article Cloistered Homeschool Syndrome. These letters are from grown children whose parents believe that they should be obedient to them, even after the age of twenty. They point out the harm which has resulted from the decisions of their parents, harm that directly affects them, and their siblings, spouses, etc. Mr. Pearl points out how important it is to stop this harm from occurring. He then goes on to argue that this harm results from the inappropriate emotional desires of their parents, and that the parents use their authority to fulfill these desires at the expense of the children.
B.
C.B. Mr. Pearl uses scripture to distinguish honor from obedience
Mr. Pearl then goes on to make a biblical argument against children obeying their parents. He starts by distinguishing honor from obedience. He points out that Honor is distinct from obedience and he distinguishes them in a variety of ways:
1. Scripture does not use them interchangeably
2. The context distinguishes them:
a. Honor is used in places where obedience would not be appropriate
i. 1 Peter 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
ii. 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
a.b. A distinction is made the only time the two words appear in close proximity.
i. He says “A distinction is made the only time the two words appear in close proximity.
(Ephesians 6:1–5). Children who are being brought up are to obey their parents (6:1). All are to honor their fathers and mothers (6:2). And servants are to be obedient to their masters (6:5). Different words, different meanings, different applications. It is all in the Word of God, but kept carefully separated and distinct from each other.”
D.
E.C. Mr. Pearl shows that honor is required, but obedience is not for children over 20
After he distinguishes honor from obedience, he then goes on to show that while honor is required throughout life, obedience is only required up to the age of 20. He points out that honoring one’s parents is commanded without any reference to the age of the child. And he distinguishes that from the commands to obey, which specifically speak of ‘children’. He then goes on to point out that a clear change of role is made between those older than 20, and those younger than 20. And he argues that since this is the major turning point between child and adult
F.
1. Honor is required
2. Throughout the earlier part of his argument, Mr. Pearl shows how honor is required for children of all ages. He presents scripture which clearly requires honor, and does not show any kind of age limit:
• Exodus 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
• Deuteronomy 5:16 Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
3.• Ephesians 6:2–3 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4. He also presents scripture where Jesus clarifies this commandment and includes those who are clearly older:
5.• Mark 7:9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.
10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:
11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.
12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;
13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.
6.
7.
8.2. Obedience is not
a) Reasons why obedience ceases
b) Implying that the lack of command indicates a cessation of authority, Mr. Pearl goes on to find scripture for when this authority ceases. He presents:
• Numbers 1:3 From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies.
c)• Numbers 14:29 Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward, which have murmured against me,
d)
e) Both of which indicate a clear change occurring after the age of 20.
f)b) Scriptural precepts demonstrating the cessation of obedience
g) Mr. Pearl also presents scripture showing how those over 20 should not obey their parents:
h)• (Matt. 10:35–37) For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me”
IV.III. Scripture commands children to be obedient to their parents, and makes no exception for certain ages.
A. Scriptural pattern illustrates godly men and women obeying their parents
1. Scriptural examples of younger or indeterminate children obeying their parents
a) David
b) Joseph
c) Miriam
d) Isaac at sacrifice
e) Christ to Mary/Joseph
f) Daughter of Jeptha
g) Rachel
h) Leah
i) Lots daughters
V.j) Jdg 12:9 And he had thirty sons, and thirty daughters, whom he sent abroad, and took in thirty daughters from abroad for his sons. And he judged Israel seven years.
a)k) Gen 21:21 And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt. (Ishmael)
2. Scriptural examples of older children obeying their parents and being blessed for it.
a) Specific obedience
(1) Isaac at marriage
(2) Rebecca
(3) Jacob go marry: Gen 28:1 And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. Gen 28:2 Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother. Gen 28:3 And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people; Gen 28:4 And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham. …Gen 28:7 And that Jacob obeyed his father and his mother, and was gone to Padanaram;
(4) Solomon: 1Ki 3:3 And Solomon loved the LORD, walking in the statutes of David his father: only he sacrificed and burnt incense in high places.
(5) Ruth to Naomi
(6) Christ to God the father (John 10:18)
(7) Solomon obeyed David to build temple
(8) Non-prodigal son (Luke 15:29) Luk 15:29 And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: Luk 15:30 But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. Luk 15:31 And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
(9)
(10) 1Sa 9:3 And the asses of Kish Saul's father were lost. And Kish said to Saul his son, Take now one of the servants with thee, and arise, go seek the asses.
(11) Jesses sons: David and brothers when Samuel came
(12) Heb 11:22 By faith Joseph, when he died, made mention of the departing of the children of Israel; and gave commandment concerning his bones.
b) Working under father generally
(1) Sons of Zebedee
(2) Joseph and brothers: Gen 37:2 These are the generations of Jacob. Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brethren; and the lad was with the sons of Bilhah, and with the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives: and Joseph brought unto his father their evil report.
(3) Isaacs sons
(4) Laban’s sons X
(5) Gen 36:24 And these are the children of Zibeon; both Ajah, and Anah: this was that Anah that found the mules in the wilderness, as he fed the asses of Zibeon his father.
(6) Exo 2:16 Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew water, and filled the troughs to water their father's flock.
(7) Rachel worked for her father
(8) Rebeccah worked for her father
(9) Moses worked for his father in law (Ex 3:1)
(10) 1Sa 17:15 But David went and returned from Saul to feed his father's sheep at Bethlehem.
(11) I Ch 25:6 All these were under the hands of their father for song in the house of the LORD, with cymbals, psalteries, and harps, for the service of the house of God, according to the king's order to Asaph, Jeduthun, and Heman. 1Ch 25:7 So the number of them, with their brethren that were instructed in the songs of the LORD, even all that were cunning, was two hundred fourscore and eight.
a.
a. Luk 2:49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
c) Kings of Judah
d)
3. Scripture has specific examples of older children not obeying their parents and not being blessed by it
a) Esau
b) Prodigal son
VI.c) 1Sa 2:22 Now Eli was very old, and heard all that his sons did unto all Israel; and how they lay with the women that assembled at the door of the tabernacle of the congregation. 1Sa 2:23 And he said unto them, Why do ye such things? for I hear of your evil dealings by all this people. 1Sa 2:24 Nay, my sons; for it is no good report that I hear: ye make the LORD'S people to transgress. 1Sa 2:25 If one man sin against another, the judge shall judge him: but if a man sin against the LORD, who shall intreat for him? Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto the voice of their father, because the LORD would slay them.
a)d)
b)e) Kings of Judah
4. Scripture condemns fathers for their sons disobedience
c)
VII.a) 1Sa 3:12 In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house: when I begin, I will also make an end. 1Sa 3:13 For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. 1Sa 3:14 And therefore I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.
a)b)
2.5. Scripture has specific examples of exceptions presented as exceptions
a) Abraham
b) Gideon
c) Sampson
d)6. Scripture presents no examples of children disobeying their parents in non-exceptional cirucumstances and being blessed for it.
e) Jacob obeys his mother and thus decieves his father at age 40: Gen 27:8 Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee.
f) Tamar obeys her father in laws instructions, until they no longer apply, then takes deceptive action into her own hands: Gen 38:11 Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.
3.7. Scripture has specific examples of multigenerational obedience
a) The Rechabites
B. Scriptural precept commands all children to be obedient to their parents
C.1. Scripture speaks of adult children as part of their fathers household
D.a) Joh 14:2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
E.b) Jdg 6:15 And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.
F.c) Jdg 11:7 And Jephthah said unto the elders of Gilead, Did not ye hate me, and expel me out of my father's house? and why are ye come unto me now when ye are in distress?
G.d) Jdg 11:36 And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon.
H.e) Jdg 14:19 And the Spirit of the LORD came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father's house.
I.f) Jdg 16:31 Then his brethren and all the house of his father came down, and took him, and brought him up, and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the buryingplace of Manoah his father. And he judged Israel twenty years.
J.g) 1Sa 9:20 And as for thine asses that were lost three days ago, set not thy mind on them; for they are found. And on whom is all the desire of Israel? Is it not on thee, and on all thy father's house?
K.h)
1.2. Scripture gives precepts which specifically command obedience to fathers.
a) Eph 6:1-2
b) Col 3:20
c) Prov 6:20-24
d) Pro 23:22 Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.
e)
2.3. Scripture gives parental commands and proverbs which imply their obedience to, by older children
a) Proverbs written to sons, speaks of ‘long life’
b) Proverbs written to sons, continually uses metaphor of women to make its points
c) Gen 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
d) Exo 22:17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
e) Deu 22:16 And the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her; Deu 22:19 And they shall amerce him in an hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days. Deu 22:21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.
f) Jos 15:17 And Othniel the son of Kenaz, the brother of Caleb, took it: and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife.
g) Jdg 15:2 And her father said, I verily thought that thou hadst utterly hated her; therefore I gave her to thy companion: is not her younger sister fairer than she? take her, I pray thee, instead of her.
h) Pro 23:26 My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways. 23:27 For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.
i) Pro 29:3 Whoso loveth wisdom rejoiceth his father: but he that keepeth company with harlots spendeth his substance.
i)j) Tit 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
j)k) 1Ti 3:12 Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
k)l) 1Th 2:11 As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children,
l)m) Col 3:6 For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience:
m)n) Eph 5:8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
n)o) Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
o)p) Eph 5:1 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children;
p)q) Gal 3:7 Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham.
3.4. Scripture gives examples of godly laws which punish children, obviously older, who are not obedient to their parents
a) Deut 21
b) Prov 30:17
c) Christ reaffirms these laws as Godly
(1) Mat 15:6
(2) Mar 7:10
L.C. Scriptural precept and pattern calls man to obey God ‘the father’
1. Metaphor deliberately used in situations of ‘obedience’.
a) Used by Christ (John 12:49, John 14:31)
VIII.(1) Joh 12:49 For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, he gave me a commandment, what I should say, and what I should speak. Joh 12:50 And I know that his commandment is life everlasting: whatsoever I speak therefore, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.
IX.(2) Joh 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. Joh 14:24 He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me. Joh 15:10 If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.
a)(3) Joh 10:18 No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father.
X.(4) Joh 8:28 Then said Jesus unto them, When ye have lifted up the Son of man, then shall ye know that I am he, and that I do nothing of myself; but as my Father hath taught me, I speak these things.
XI.(5) Joh 5:30 I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.
XII.(6) Luk 22:42 Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
a)(7) Mat 26:39 And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
b)(8) Mat 12:50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
c)(9) Mat 7:21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
d)(10) Indeed I can find no example of Jesus saying he needed to ‘obey’ in the context of God as God, or God as Lord. He always seems to say it as God the Father.
e)b) 2Sa 7:14 I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men:
2. Opposite metaphor frequently speaks to obedience “Children of…”
a) II John 1:4
b) 1Jn 5:2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.
c) 1Jn 3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.
XIII.d) Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
a)e)
b)D. In all of this, no mention is ever made of a time where obedience is to cease.
XIV.IV. Mr. Pearl’s case against obedience fails
A. What his case mentions that is wrong
B.
C. Mr. Pearl in his article makes several key errors which greatly affect the outcome of his case. He fails to adequately make his case from the examples he cites, because his examples do not present a godly obedience
D.
1. Mr. Pearls examples fail to prove his point
2.
3. In the first part of his article Mr. Pearl presents letters which he received in response to his last article Cloistered Homeschool Syndrome. He attempts to use these letters to show how any kind of obedience to parents which continues after the age of 20 will cause harm to the family. In his arguments he makes several errors. In the first place, the obedience which the parents demand is not a godly form of obedience, but a corrupted form of obedience. In addition, he makes the logical fallacy of Post hoc ergo propter hoc in saying that the harm results from obedience, when in reality, the harm could have resulted through many other causes and ‘obedience’ is only an excuse for and not a reason for the ungodly actions taken by the parents.
4.
5.
a) Mr. Pearls examples are not examples of godly obedience
b)
c) When we look at the examples given, we see that the obedience demanded by the parents was not a godly form of obedience. But instead, was almost the opposite from godly obedience. Whereas the goal of godly obedience is to accomplish the goal of the higher authority (i.e. the goal of father commanding daughter is for God to be honored) the goal found in these examples appears to be the gratification of selfish desires (on the part of the parents). And whereas a truly obedient son knows the will of the father, those presented in Mr. Pearls examples are continually clinging to direct commands, permissions which they should be mature enough to know the will of their father in that area.
d)
e) In one example, one of the married daughters of the family is quoted as saying “I won’t cross the street without asking Mom and Dad for their permission!” Tthis fails to qualify as godly obedience on two different counts. In the first place, after marriage, any obedience or honor which the daughter may owe to her parents has been transferred to her husband, as she cannot go outside of her husband’s authority in order to fulfill them, and must instead do so contingent upon his commands. And secondly, even should she be unmarried and still in her father’s house, such a statement does not reflect upon her obedience, but upon her immaturity. , as aA mature daughter would already know her father’s will, she would already know the principalsprinciples which she should follow in crossing or not crossing the street or any other such trivial example without having to ask her father. In fact, such a statement is more likely to come from one who is disobedient, but wishes to appear obedient, than from one who is obedient in a godly manner.
f)
g) In another place we see this statement: “We are expected to live our lives exactly as Mom and Dad ordain. We are to worship, think, believe, eat, work, and spend our leisure only with their approval.” Here again is a statement which fails to show godly obedience. In the first place, there are several items on that list which are beyond the authority of anyone on this earth to command (although, they might possibly have authority to modify) such as ‘worship’ and ‘believe’. In the second place, if the father had trained his children well the other items on the list would be unnecessary at best. In the same way that God does not, for the most part, command these things, but instead presents precepts for us to follow, so should these parents have done. In the same way that God presents the principle of wise stewardship of our time, but only gives specific commands (such as the Sabbath) in a few areas, so these parents should have done.
h)
i) In each case, Mr. Pearls examples fail to attack Ggodly obedience, because they do not illustrate Ggodly obedience, but instead illustrate a worldly form of obedience, which we should not be following. The examples do indeed show unGgodly actions, and the resulting harm, but Ggodly obedience is not among the actions that cause harm.
j)
k)
l)b) Harm does not result from obedience, or from a proper form of obedience
m) Nowhere in Scripture are we given any examples of Godly obedience harming the individual concerned. Indeed Scriptural witness is all the other way. From the obedience of Christ to the obedience of the sons of Rekab, God everywhere and always blesses obedient children, of whatever age.
n)
o)c) Actions taken could have been taken under pretext of ‘non-obedience’
p) In linking the belief of the parents, mentioned in the letters with their dysfunctional families, Mr. Pearl commits the logical error of Post Hoc Ergo Proctor Hoc. While the letters do show that the parents believed in the children being obedient beyond the age of 20, and that their families were extremely dysfunctional, it does not logically follow that their belief in children being obedient caused this dysfunction. One could pick up any newspaper and read a Dear Abby example with the same kind of dysfunctional family, but where the parents did not believe in the children being obedient. The mere fact of something happening after something does not prove that it happened because of it.
(1) Dear Abby example (logic: Family A believes that children should obey their parents, Family A is dysfunctional, Therefore believing that children should obey their parents produces dysfunctional families Error: Post hoc ergo propter hoc Dear Abby Counter: Family B does not believe that ‘adult’ children should obey their parents, Family B is dysfunctional, therefore believing that ‘adult’ children should not obey their parents produces dysfunctional families.)
q)d) “Patriarchy” is used only as a cover,
(1) Name used is seemingly biblical, but does not conform to Biblical definition.
The reader of Mr Pearls article who now reads our rebuttal will notice that we do not use the word ‘patriarchy’. This is because the term patriarchy, as used by Mr Pearl and these parents, while appearing to be biblical, does not actually conform to the biblical definition of the term. While the scriptural definition uses Godly obedience as its basis, Mr Pearl and these parents use a worldly definition of obedience, a definition which is widely used as a straw man in their argument against godly obedience.
(2) T ‘Obedience’ is used as an excuse for selfish actions
6. In fact, obedience is used as an excuse for the selfish actions of the parents in Mr Pearls examples. A true form of obedience, used as God intended would not result in the harm we see here, but instead in the kind of good we see resulting from Isaac’s, Jacob’s, Joseph’s, and myriad others obedience.
7.2. Honor and obedience are not contradictory or mutually exclusive but are frequently associated actions-
8. While it is perfectly true that ‘honor’ and ‘obedience’ are different words, as Mr Pearl suggests, the implication he draws from this is completely false. Far from being contradictory or mutually exclusive, Scripture shows ‘honor’ and ‘obedience’ as often linked. Here are some passages in which honor and obedience are associated:
a) Eph 6:1 vs Eph 6:2 (Children: obey, honor)
XV.b) Num 27:20 And thou shalt put some of thine honour upon him, that all the congregation of the children of Israel may be obedient.
a)c) Lev 19:15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.
b)d) The Law: Exo 20:12 Honour thy father and thy mother: tthat thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. Exo 21:15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death. Exo 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death. Lev 19:3 Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God. Lev 21:9 And the daughter of any priest, if she profane herself by playing the whore, she profaneth her father: she shall be burnt with fire. Num 12:14 And the LORD said unto Moses, If her father had but spit in her face, should she not be ashamed seven days? let her be shut out from the camp seven days, and after that let her be received in again. Deu 21:18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Deu 21:19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; Deu 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. Deu 21:21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. Deu 27:16 Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.
c)3. Honor is associated with a variety of other attributes
d) In addition to being linked to obedience, honor is often associated with a whole host of other attributes. Some are already listed above, we list others here.
e)a) Mal 1:6 A son honoureth his father, and a servant his master: if then I be a father, where is mine honour? and if I be a master, where is my fear? saith the LORD of hosts unto you, O priests, that despise my name. And ye say, Wherein have we despised thy name?
f)b) Rev 19:1 And after these things I heard a great voice of much people in heaven, saying, Alleluia; Salvation, and glory, and honour, and power, unto the Lord our God:
g)c) Rev 7:12 Saying, Amen: Blessing, and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honour, and power, and might, be unto our God for ever and ever. Amen.
h)d) Rev 5:13 And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.
i)e) Rev 5:12 Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.
j)f) Rev 4:11 Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.
k)g) Rev 4:9 And when those beasts give glory and honour and thanks to him that sat on the throne, who liveth for ever and ever,
l)h) 2Pe 1:17 For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.
m)i) 1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
n)j) 1Pe 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
o)k) 1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
p)l) Heb 3:3 For this man was counted worthy of more glory than Moses, inasmuch as he who hath builded the house hath more honour than the house.
q)m) Heb 2:9 But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour; that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man.
r)n) Heb 2:7 Thou madest him a little lower than the angels; thou crownedst him with glory and honour, and didst set him over the works of thy hands:
s)o) 1Ti 6:16 Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto; whom no man hath seen, nor can see: to whom be honour and power everlasting. Amen.
t)p) I Ti 6:1 Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed. 1Ti 6:2 And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are brethren; but rather do them service, because they are faithful and beloved, partakers of the benefit. These things teach and exhort.
u)q) 1Ti 1:17 Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honour and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
v)r) 1Th 4:4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;
w)s) 1Co 12:24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
x)t) Rom 13:7 Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.
y)u) Rom 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
z)v) Rom 2:10 But glory, honour, and peace, to every man that worketh good, to the Jew first, and also to the Gentile:
aa)w) Rom 2:7 To them who by patient continuance in well doing seek for glory and honour and immortality, eternal life:
bb)x) Joh 12:26 If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.
cc)y) Dan 5:18 O thou king, the most high God gave Nebuchadnezzar thy father a kingdom, and majesty, and glory, and honour:
dd)z) Dan 4:37 Now I Nebuchadnezzar praise and extol and honour the King of heaven, all whose works are truth, and his ways judgment: and those that walk in pride he is able to abase.
ee)aa) Dan 4:36 At the same time my reason returned unto me; and for the glory of my kingdom, mine honour and brightness returned unto me; and my counsellors and my lords sought unto me; and I was established in my kingdom, and excellent majesty was added unto me.
ff)bb) Dan 2:6 But if ye shew the dream, and the interpretation thereof, ye shall receive of me gifts and rewards and great honour: therefore shew me the dream, and the interpretation thereof.
gg)cc) Jer 33:9 And it shall be to me a name of joy, a praise and an honour before all the nations of the earth, which shall hear all the good that I do unto them: and they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and for all the prosperity that I procure unto it.
hh)dd) Ecc 6:2 A man to whom God hath given riches, wealth, and honour, so that he wanteth nothing for his soul of all that he desireth, yet God giveth him not power to eat thereof, but a stranger eateth it: this is vanity, and it is an evil disease.
ii)ee) Pro 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
jj)ff) Pro 25:2 It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
kk)gg) Pro 22:4 By humility and the fear of the LORD are riches, and honour, and life.
ll)hh) Pro 8:18 Riches and honour are with me; yea, durable riches and righteousness.
mm)ii) Psa 104:1 Bless the LORD, O my soul. O LORD my God, thou art very great; thou art clothed with honour and majesty.
nn)jj) Psa 96:6 Honour and majesty are before him: strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.
oo)kk) Psa 71:8 Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day.
pp)ll) Psa 66:2 Sing forth the honour of his name: make his praise glorious.
qq)mm) 1Ch 29:12 Both riches and honour come of thee, and thou reignest over all; and in thine hand is power and might; and in thine hand it is to make great, and to give strength unto all.
XVI.nn) 2Sa 6:22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.
a)oo)
2.4. Honor is used to define a broader category of actions
3. And indeed sometimes ‘honor’ is used as almost a code phrase to indicate other actions, as we see here:
a) Mat 15:6
b) Dan 11:38 But in his estate shall he honour the God of forces: and a god whom his fathers knew not shall he honour with gold, and silver, and with precious stones, and pleasant things.
c) Isa 58:13 If thou turn away thy foot from the sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honour him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:
d) Pro 3:9 Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
e) Psa 149:9 To execute upon them the judgment written: this honour have all his saints. Praise ye the LORD.
4.5. Both honor and obedience are required for children over 20
5. Mr Pearls assumptions concerning honor and obedience then fail. But his much more limited point that they are different words is certainly true. What of it? Their being separate words does not thereby give any particular time frame for obedience. The same word ‘children’ used to tell them to honor their parents (Eph 6:2) is used to tell them they should obey them (Eph 6:1).
6. No, Mr Pearl fails to make his case that obedience ceases at the age of 20.
a) Obedience does not cease
(1) Fail - Scriptural precepts demonstrating the cessation of obedience
(a) There are various ages and events in scripture marking transitions
(i) Women: Num 30
(ii)
(2) Scriptural precepts commanding obedience do not have a time limit
(3) No, no Scripture that we have found, or that Mr Pearl lists, gives any specific mention of the cessation of obedience at age 20. But there are several cases where children are not to obey their parents. In scripture we can find at least three:
(a) No Limit
(b) Specific Exceptions
(c)(i) General case: Obey God rather than men
(d) The first one is the general statement given by Peter and the apostles (Acts 5:29) that we must ‘obey God rather than man’. This exception, however, has no time limit on it. Small children as well as grey bearded old men must obey God rather than man. It should be noted, however, that it is God himself who tells us to obey our parents.
(e)(ii) Numbers 30: Specific Vow of a man
(f) A second exception to the general command to obey ones parents is found in Numbers 30. Unlike a daughter, a sons vow to the Lord must be fulfilled, no exception is given for those cases where his father disagrees with his vow.
(g)(iii) Marriage for a woman
(h) The third exception, this one found in multiple passages of Scripture including Numbers 30, is that, for a woman, her father’s authority over her ceases when she marries. From the time of her marriage her head is her husband, not her father.
b)
c) The idea of ‘Twenty years old’ fails:
7.
8.(1) It fails to mention or even imply what Mr Pearl concludes
Speaking specifically of the verses that Mr Pearl lists, it should be noted that not one of them even address the issue of obedience to parents, never mind actually suggesting a specific age for disobedience. Nor do they imply any such.
9.
10.(2) It specifically mentions the reason for that age
11. Indeed, in each of the passages we are given a reason for the choice of the age of twenty years old. In Numbers 1:3, for example, we read that that is the age at which the young men ‘go forth to war’. In Leviticus 27:3 the issue is a temple tax… and the age is 20 years old to sixty. In Exodus 30:14 the issue is one of an offering.
12.(a) Go forth to war (II 25:5)
13.(b) Serve in the temple
14.(c) I Chron 7:23 “because the LORD had said he would increase Israel like to the stars of the heavens.”
(1)(3) Mr. Pearl fails to mention other distinguishing ages and categories in scripture
(2) Not only do Mr Peals examples fail to mention the reason he would like (that of disobedience) and mention reasons having nothing to do with it; but he leaves out a myriad of other verses mentioning ages as transition points.
(3)
(4) The most significant, at least as far as in how many different passages in seems to occur, is that of a woman’s marital status; of her authority passing from that of her father to that of her husband. For example in Numbers 30, where the vow of a woman can be nullified either by her father (for an unmarried woman) or her husband (for a married woman). We read of a similar effect in Leviticus:
(a) Women: Marrital status: Numbers 30, Lev 21:3 And for his sister a virgin, that is nigh unto him, which hath had no husband; for her may he be defiled. Lev 22:13 But if the priest's daughter be a widow, or divorced, and have no child, and is returned unto her father's house, as in her youth, she shall eat of her father's meat: but there shall no stranger eat thereof. Psa 45:10 Hearken, O daughter, and consider, and incline thine ear; forget also thine own people, and thy father's house;
(a)
(b) Number chapter 4: Multiple references to Thirty years old
In Numbers 4 we read multiple instances of the age of thirty years old as marking a transition; with only those thirty to fifty years old called to serve in the temple.
(c)
(d)(c) Numbers 8: 25 years old
(e) In Numbers 8 we read of the Levites needing to be 25 years old in order to serve in the Temple.
(f)(d) Isaiah 28:9 Weaned
(g) In Isaiah 28 we read of those who are ‘weaned’ being those who should be taught knowledge.
15.(e) Eph 4:14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; (Carried about by winds of doctrine)
16. Ephesians 4:14 describes us as being no longer children when we are not ‘carried about with every wind of doctrine’. This test would remove, I am afraid, a good portion of the church from the ‘adult’ category that Mr Pearl wishes to establish.
XVII.(f) Gal 4:1 Now I say, That the heir, as long as he is a child, differeth nothing from a servant, though he be lord of all; Gal 4:2 But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father. Gal 4:3 Even so we, when we were children, were in bondage under the elements of the world: Gal 4:4 But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law, Gal 4:5 To redeem them that were under the law, that we might receive the adoption of sons. Gal 4:6 And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father. Gal 4:7 Wherefore thou art no more a servant, but a son; and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ. (Time appointed by the Father)
XVIII. And then in Galatians 4 we read that we, as children, are in bondage; just as our natural children are ‘under governors’. And we read that the end of this is to be ‘the time appointed of the father’.
1.(g)
2.6. Mr. Pearl makes a statement which is flatly contradicted by scripture
3. The most disturbing element of Mr Pearls case is a statement he makes which is flatly contradicted by Scripture. It is difficult to know even how to respond to it. One hesitates to speak ill of a brother, and in his other writings Mr Pearl has shown that he has spent a great deal of time studying the Scriptures. How is it that he can make a statement like this:
4. “There is no mention of descendants obeying their parents—never.”
5.
6. It is difficult to imagine any possible interpretation of this statement that is not flatly contradicted by myriad Scriptures. Even taking it at its most tortured interpretation, it is flatly and specifically contradicted by Jeremiah 35.
7. Mr. Pearl makes a distinction which does not exist
8.a) Eph 6:1 vs Eph 6:2
9. Mr Pearl recognizes that Eph 6 poses a problem for his interpretation of obedience. And so he carefully lays out his case:
B. Ephesians 6:1 Children, [Those being brought up—Ephesians 6:4] obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour [Obedience and honor are separate issues.] thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. [Children, the ones who are to obey their parents, are being brought up—not yet adults.]
5 Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters [Parents are not masters; they are mentors, and children are not servants.] according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ;
Obedience and honor are separate issues.
We know this to be true because:
• The words are spelled differently.
• They are never used interchangeably.
• The context in which they are used demonstrates a clear distinction.
• A distinction is made the only time the two words appear in close proximity.
(Ephesians 6:1–5). Children who are being brought up are to obey their parents (6:1). All are to honor their fathers and mothers (6:2). And servants are to be obedient to their masters (6:5). Different words, different meanings, different applications. It is all in the Word of God, but kept carefully separated and distinct from each other.
1.
2.
3. Unfortunately for his case, the greek grammar here defeats his interpretation. The verses read in the KJV:
Eph 6:1 Children,G5043 obeyG5219 yourG5216 parentsG1118 inG1722 the Lord:G2962 forG1063 thisG5124 isG2076 right.G1342
Eph 6:2 HonourG5091 thyG4675 fatherG3962 andG2532 mother;G3384 (whichG3748 isG2076 the firstG4413 commandmentG1785 withG1722 promise;)G1860
Eph 6:3 ThatG2443 it may beG1096 wellG2095 with thee,G4671 andG2532 thou mayest(G2071) live longG3118 onG1909 theG3588 earth.G1093
Eph 6:4 And,G2532 ye fathers,G3962 provoke not your children to wrath:G3949 G3361 G5216 G5043 butG235 bring them upG1625 G846 inG1722 the nurtureG3809 andG2532 admonitionG3559 of the Lord.G2962
4. And in the Literal:
Eph 6:1 The children! obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteous;
Eph 6:2 honour thy father and mother,
Eph 6:3 which is the first command with a promise, `That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live a long time upon the land.'
Eph 6:4 And the fathers! provoke not your children, but nourish them in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.
5. No distinction is made in these verse between those children which are to honor, and those children which are to obey. Even if the rest of Scripture wasn’t clear on the issue (which it is, as we have shown above) these Scriptures command children to both honor and obey their parents. And as the literal and the Greek show, the command is to ‘nourish them in the instruction and admonition of the Lord”… not the mere ‘bringing up’ of small children. The same Greek word (G1625) applied here to children is used in Ephesians in relationship to wives.
6.
7.
8.
C.B. What Mr. Pearl fails to mention in his case
1. Obedience is specifically commanded by scripture, yet Mr. Pearl fails to find scriptural support for it
2. Mr. Pearl fails to address the scriptural metaphor of a father
a) Christ, his use of the metaphor
b) One of the most pointed failures of Mr Pearls thesis is his avoiding of the use of Christ’s use of the word ‘father’. Christ repeatedly uses this word in reference to God. And, what is particularly relevant to this discussion, he frequently speaks of ‘obeying’ His Father.
c)
d) The immediate objection would be ‘of course we must obey God’! And indeed we must. But that is not the issue here. Christ does not tell us that he obeys ‘God’. Or that He obeys ‘The Lord’. Christ very specifically uses the word ‘father’.
e)b) Testaments, general use
f)c) If we don’t need to obey our fathers after 20, why should we obey our heavenly father after 20?
3. Mr Pearl fails to understand the nature of jurisdictions
4. Mr Pearl shows in this article that he fails to recognize the Biblical doctrine of ‘jurisdictions’; or at least how they apply to the issue at hand. The issue of jurisdictions in general is far to big to go into here, so we will make the bare case.
5. Surely Mr Pearl recognizes that in the jurisdiction of the state there are authorities that we must obey. The policeman who tells us to take a detour around an accident scene… do we roll down our window and inform him that we are ‘adults’ and not under his authority?
6. Similarly in the church. Are elders only authorities over the children of the church? Do our adults sing whenever they wish, preach whenever they wish, regardless of the authority of the elders in setting up and organizing the worship service?
7. Then why, if in every other jurisdiction, is authority given to adults over other adults, would the jurisdiction of the family be different? What Biblical principle announces that only in the jurisdiction of the family is a jurisdiction where no adults are under authority?
a) State: Adults obey
b) Church: Adults obey
c) Why then in the Family would not obey?
XIX.V. Conclusion
A. Scripture commands children to honor, obey their parents
1. Exodus 20
2. Deuteronomy 5
3. Scripture commands obedience of older children (Penalty of Death)
a) Deut 21
b) Prov 30:17
c) Mat 15:6
d) Mar 7:10
B. Scripture describes honor due parents, and honor due masters in the same way
1. Mal 1
